Unknown Preparation

My reflective, introspective nature is a blessing and a curse. It honestly is dependent upon me leaning on the flesh or the Spirit. For the purpose of this blog post, let's tap into the Spirit and the blessing of it. 

Preparation

While preparing to launch my Financial Coaching business, I couldn't help but chuckle in amazement. Yeah, I know God is very strategic and nothing is in vain, but I'm always thankful when I'm reminded of that. I was working on the backend of my website, and creating miscellaneous forms until I was stopped in my tracks. While transfixed, the Lord allowed me to reflect on the many internships, tasks, and jobs he's given me thus far that were Administrative based. God was equipping me for this very moment. It was preparation for this very business to know how to structure, organize, set schedules, plan and regulate the technicalities that go into running it efficiently. A specific skill that I recently picked up from one of my freelance jobs, to a skill that I mastered in my previous position, I used this specific day. My immediate thought was, "Wow Lord. Thank you!". It's the minute and monumental things for me. They all point to a vast, uncontainable God. 

The Message

Since this specific day, I was periodically reminded of it, so that was my cue to write about it. There's a message here for somebody, so keep walking with me until it's fully fleshed out. "My most recent position, I was miserable. Not because of the work environment, but because I wasn't fully utilizing my gifts and tapping into my creative side." (Excerpt from New Beginnings Amidst Fear) You read it, miserable. I went back and forth, because everyone was being laid off due to Covid. I thought, "Lord, I prayed for this job and you graciously gave me the key. Who am I to be ungrateful, when so many others are wishing they were employed." I remember it being so bad that I literally thought to myself, and messaged a few friends, "If the company lets me go, it's fine. At least at this point, my lease is month to month and I have enough cushion to move back home." This was after my previous employer, sent out an email to all employees stating that, they'd be laying off a percentage of people across the portfolio (severance package + opportunity to come back). I'm not gonna lie. I was a bit anxious at first, but then I was like, "Wait a minute. This is my chance. My way to exit stage left!" I know trifling, but you may very well understand how this feels. I knew I couldn't leave. Why? Because I didn't have a valid reason to, nor an okay from God himself. Trust me, I know. God has blocked me from leaving a previous job and I had no choice, but to stay. 

The baby rails God had up, allowed the bowling ball (me) to stay within the parameters of the lane. I had to be obedient. It wasn't in vain, as it built endurance. I also learned everything that the Lord wanted me to. I was tested and the situation emphasized the importance of obeying the Lord. 

There are many times, moments and situations where we don't understand. It may be hard. It may be uncomfortable. It may be grievous. It may be uneasy. Hey, it may not even be terrible, but you're curious about the why, of it. Why is it happening? Why do I feel like this? What's the reasoning behind this? Then once you're over the hurdle, you're granted a glimpse of insight into why. Again, nothing is in vain. The tears caused by pain are bottled up and collected. Your joy is from the Lord. Even the in-between. God meets you where you are and understands at each stage. He's able to sympathize with you in your weakness. His strength is made strong in it, too.